Official Singles Chart Top 100

Time for the 'Pacer' now.

THE WORLD WOULD BE WORSE OFF IF THESE DIDN'T EXIST TIER:

Jungle - Back On 74 [32] (New No.1 lads, so shout it from the rooftops.)

Beyoncé - TEXAS HOLD 'EM - [27] (I know it's done well for a country song, but f*** ACR.)

Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten [21]

CLASS AS MY.... ERR...... LASS TIER:

Chappell Roan - Good Luck, Babe [18]

Shaboozey - A Bar Song (Tipsy) [6] (No relation to the J-Kwon song from 2004. Honest. 🥸)

Bakar - 'Ell N Back [26] (I think it's better if I put an apostrophe here instead of an X.)

Lay Bankz - Tell Ur Girlfriend [15]

PRETTY GOOD SONGS OVERALL TIER:

SZA - Saturn [29]

The Blessed Madonna/Clementine Douglas - Happier [17]

Djo - End Of Beginning [36]

Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso [1]

I LIKE THESE I SUPPOSE? TIER:

Amy Winehouse - Back To Black [39]

Ariana Grande - we can't be friends (wait for your love) [12]

Future/Metro Boomin/Kendrick Lamar - Like That [30] (This diss saga they're doing just seems like a waste of my time personally.)

Taylor Swift ft. Post Malone - Fortnight [2]

Noah Kahan - Stick Season [14]

Taylor Swift - I Can Do It With a Broken Heart [8]

WELL IS THIS QUITE AVERAGE ACTUALLY TIER:

Dua Lipa - Illusion [16] (Whatever 90s psychedelic rave culture dribble she was yelling in interviews about Radical Optimism doesn't really show here.)

Taylor Swift - Down Bad [10]

Hozier - Too Sweet [3]

Artemas - i like the way you kiss me [5]

Mark Ronson ft. Amy Winehouse - Valerie [38] (Being played to death on the radio doesn't help this tune at all, does it. 🫥)

Tommy Richman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY [31]

Drake - Push Ups [24]

Mark Ambor - Belong Together [11]

Headie One/Stormzy/Tay Keith - Cry No More [37]

GUYS I DON'T LIKE THESE TIER:

Dasha - Austin [9]

Rudimental/Skepsis/Terrible Joke Alert - Green & Gold [33]

Benson Boone - Slow It Down [28] (Apparently Artemas is his chart rival. Not like I could tell.)

cassö/RAYE/D-Block Europe - Prada [40]

BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD. TIER:

Ella Henderson ft. Rudimental - Alibi [19]

NewEra - Birds In The Sky [23]

David Guetta & OneRepublic - I Don't Wanna Wait [20] (So formulaic it's ridiculous.)

Perrie - Forget About Us [34]

Michael Marcagi - Scared To Start [13]

Badger - These Words [22] (Thank the lord Radio 1 didn't play this despite going up 13 spots.)

POP MUSIC IS GRAVELY WOUNDED BECAUSE OF THESE TIER:

Bryson Tiller - Whatever She Wants [25]

Benson Boone - Beautiful Things [4]

Good Neighbours - Home [35]

Teddy Swims - Lose Control [7] (Worst record of the year. Period. How it topped the Billboard charts is beyond me.)

MY TOP 10

1. my boy only breaks his favourite toys- taylor swift (=)

2. illusion- dua lipa (=)

3. espresso- sabrina carpenter (=)

4. training season- dua lipa (+1)

5. fortnight- taylor swift (+1)

6. silly me- jess glynne

7. easy- jess glynne

8. enough- jess glynne

9. forget about us- perrie (-2)

10.my oh my- ava max  (-6)

Best #1 in a hot minute 

Also glad that Broken Heart became eligible to chart, it's my favourite song on TTPD by far lol

Anyway, stream AOTY Radical Optimism for good luck wbk 

Chart Review 03/05/24

Radio 1 should stop hijacking the chart with their Big Weekend garbage.

Anyways, what's happening lads! I'm here, I'm probably not queer, but that never stopped anyone else from posting stuff on here, did it? Right then, the chart. Bank Holiday Monday is part of my 5-day weekend (my college allows me to skive off Tuesdays for some reason, but I'm not complaining), and day 1 will be dedicated to dissecting what's hot and what's not in the charts right now. Because there's nothing more fun than looking at how awful some songs are and yet still do well. You know full well who I'm directing this abuse at, America. Then again, Perrie's disastrous showing despite copious radio airplay is definite proof of how eclectic we are.

And speaking of slightly pretty females...

The album chart looks as interesting as it always does, with Taylor Swift casually cropping up a second week at the top with The Tortued Poets Department, an album that hasn't had the best critical reception compared to other Swifty efforts this decade. Not that anyone will be complaining or anything, but given dad-pop and formerly important 80s duo the Pet Shop Boys are at 2 with their new effort, it does feel a little cheap. Come on, give them it. They haven't had a No.1 album since 1993, just let them have this moment for once. PLEASE. I know it's been 15 years since they last had an actual hit but it wouldn't hurt to give them a chance, would it? St. Vincent's at 5, and Jess Glynne's first album since 2018 is in the Top 10 as well. Not bad, considering the singles off it have performed so badly that I'm surprised her career didn't end on the spot. Good for JESS, that's all I'm gonna say.

As for the singles, err.... Would you wanna be Sabrina Carpenter right now?

I mean you would, obviously, given the success she's having right now, but before 2024, the most notable things about her career thus far was denting the back half of the 40 a couple times, getting into a tiny spat with Olivia Rodrigo, and having to live with the guilt knowing that your aunt is Bart Simpson. That was until Feather went BANANAS on TikTok and gave her some much-needed radio excess, and since Espresso dropped three weeks ago, she's just been going from strength to strength. The soon-to-be 25 year old from Quakertown, Pennsylvania now has her first ever chart-topper on these shores, as Espresso nudges up 4 spots thanks to Spotify and their gang of streaming hoodies. And best of all, it doesn't make me wanna contemplate why songs like Nonsense and Skin never did much. Good on ya Sabrina, but just be aware, if you get overplayed in the upcoming months, don't blame me. I'm just a dimwit on a chart website posting utter drivel.

TayTay can at least take some credit from these unexpected circumstances, as she still has 3 song in the Top 10 today. Fortnight only drops to 2, Down Bad slides down to the foot of the best-sellers ladder, and The Tortured Poets Department has been replaced in the general public's affections by I Can Do It With a Broken Heart at 8, which is probably better, or probably not. I don't know, really, it's all in one ear and out the other with this album in truth. On a more positive note, it turns out Lil Nas X fever is gonna strike all over again as Shaboozey divebombs up to 6 with A Bar Song (Tipsy), in a move that DEFINITELY won't anger the racist folk that think country and pop shouldn't ever collide. Eh. Maybe the Cowboy Carter thingy took all the comments out of them.

Naturally, the rest of the chart is as dead as it always is, apart from the climbers of Lay Banks, Chappell Roan, David Guetta and Badger of course, not matter how catastrophic some of them are. Joining them in the 'is this worth it?' category at 31 is the only other new hit today, from Tommy Richman, who has been hanging out with Brent Faiyaz recently to get his name out there, and has now completely proven why he's such a, quote, 'exciting prospect'. MILLION DOLLAR BABY has been doing bits on the streaming sites thanks in no small part to two separate versions going viral. The normal one, and a so-called VHS version that's exactly the flippin' same. Go figure. So you know, good for him, it's his first Top 40 single, but the track is very mid and I've forgotten everything about it since the chart show ended. Then again, according to old Tommy on his Spotify bio, "EVERYTHING IS PUNK!", so clearly I'm not cut out to dissect such mediocre rap records. Or something.

Meanwhile, the songs at 38 and 39 are somewhat more plausible, given they're directly linked to that new Amy Winehouse biopic that's been doing the rounds recently and spearheading critics with how good it is. Now, personally, I don't really think her music was all that rad or anything, but I'm in the minority apparently, as the Mark Ronson bandwagon-jumping Zutons-massacring Valerie re-enters at 38 for it's first Top 40 jaunt in SIXTEEN YEARS, with Back To Black clawing it's way here for the first time since kicking the bucket in 2011. It's great and all that she's back to give the hit parade a right bop, but it wouldn't hurt for us to nick a time machine and get her to lower those alcohol levels. Maybe then the charts right now would sound a lot better. And maybe I wouldn't make such snide comments about equally successful artists.

Outside the 40, and Kendrick Lamar hit back at Drake on Wednesday with Euphoria, his first new music since 2022 and as long as an average trip to the shops. It's only on 50 after two days of streaming, so, you know, expect it to do better next time. Elsewhere and Disturbed's dance remake of The Sound of Silence genuinely makes me want to commit genocide on the people who made it, Tems is back at a measly 58, Kygo's latest effort flops at 75, Aitch embarrasses everyone at 78, and all the other re-entries are the most soul-crushing songs you'll see all year. No one wanted Lewis Capaldi back in the chart again, alright?

Next week's albums come from the likes of Sia, Frank Turner, Kelly Jones from the Stereophonics and Rachel Chinouriri, while the singles sees the returns of K-Trap, Becky Hill, Barry Can't Swim, Blossoms, and Meghan Trainor. So clearly next week is pretty much DEAD. Ah well.

See you next time then.

(P.S. You know what would be great Radio 1? If you actually played some darn records instead of promoting your Big Weekend thing that no one came here for. Also, last time I checked, Mabel's Don't Call Me Up is nowhere near the Top 100. Please keep that in mind, I tell thee.)

My Top 10 of the Week!

25 01 Jess Glynne - What Do You Do? 1 (x1) 32

01 02 Becky Hill & Sonny Fodera - Never Be Alone 1 (x9) 15

NE 03 Jess Glynne - Easy 3 01

02 04 Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso 2 03

RE 05 Jess Glynne - Friend Of Mine 5 17

RE 06 Jess Glynne - Enough 6 06

04 07 Becky Hill - Outside Of Love 1 (x1) 05

RE 08 Jess Glynne - Silly Me 8 14

07 09 Dua Lipa - Illusion 7 03

06 10 The Blessed Madonna ft Clementine Douglas - Happier 3 12

My full top 50: http://www.buzzjack.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=271087 (top 25 without Jess Glynne is in the replies)

So good to see Sabrina at #1 despite TS's desperate and shady tactics.

chart re-ranking

Great
1) Valerie
2) Espresso
3) H*ll N Back
4) Green & Gold
5) Prada
6) Happier
7) Back To Black
8) TEXAS HOLD ‘EM
9) we can’t be friends (wait for your love)
10) Illusion
11) Back On 74
12) Austin
13) Too Sweet
14) These Words
15) Forget About Us

Good
16) Saturn
17) Good Luck, Babe!
18) Tell Ur Girlfriend
19) Alibi
20) Unwritten
21) Lose Control
22) End Of Beginning
23) Scared To Start
24) A Bar Song (Tipsy)
25) Fortnight
26) Beautiful Things
27) Birds In The Sky

Decent:
28) Like That
29) Million Dollar Baby
30) Cry No More

Meh
31) i like the way you kiss me ⬇️
32) Stick Season ⬇️
33) Whatever She Wants
34) Push Ups ⬆️
35) Slow It Down
36) Down Bad

Bad
37) I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

Awful
38) Belong Together ⬇️
39) Home
40) I Don’t Wanna Wait

My Top 10 Songs Of The Week:

#1: Chappell Roan – Good Luck, Babe (+22)  [New No.1!] 🇺🇸

#2: Tyla – Priorities (-1) 🇿🇦

#3: Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso (+3) 🇺🇸

#4: Taylor Swift ft Post Malone – Fortnight (-2) 🇺🇸

#5: Jess Glynne – Say It Isn’t True (debut) 🇬🇧 (🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿)

#6: Girl In Red – I’m Back (+2) 🇳🇴

#7: Dagny – Strawberry Dream (debut) 🇳🇴

#8: Jess Glynne – Easy (debut) 🇬🇧 (🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿)

#9: Perrie – Forget About Us (-6) 🇬🇧 (🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿)

#10: Porter Robinson – Cheerleader (-1) 🇺🇸

Full chart on Crown Note: https://www.crownnote.com/charts/piran/pirans-top-50-220

Full chart on BuzzJack: www.buzzjack.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=271086

Shame that ‘Texas Hold ‘Em’ is on ACR but it did incredibly well to spend a whole month at the summit.

‘Good Luck, Babe!’ going Top 20 is a massive win and a real highlight for me! ❤️

Excited to see how well Dua’s album will perform here next week. :)

Top 40 Rankings: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1b1fb2d6bae24ec7da3671a7a1866f790c80cd6c4cda5a6644944769115284a6.png

porter robinson edges out car seat headrest for number 1 on my personal charts!

1. cheerleader - porter robinson
2. high to death - car seat headrest
3. euphoria - kendrick lamar
4. so long, london - taylor swift
5. lost boys - death grips
6. sodium chloride - panchiko
7. strangers - no mana & jantine
8. guilty as sin? - taylor swift
9. kicking cars - panchiko
10. spillways - ghost
11. walkin’ - thundercat
12. espresso - sabrina carpenter
13. fisherrr (remix) - cash cobain, ice spice, bay swag
14. fresh out the slammer - taylor swift
15. faith - ghost
16. windowlicker - aphex twin
17. million dollar baby - tommy richman
18. the albatross - taylor swift
19. the smallest man who ever lived - taylor swift
20. tears over beers - modern baseball
21. basic instinct - quasimoto
22. d>e>a>t>h>m>e>t>a>l - panchiko
23. genesis - justice
24. cassandra - taylor swift
25. like that - future, metro boomin & kendrick lamar

=======================================

top 10 albums:

1. d>e>a>t>h>m>e>t>a>l - panchiko
2. the tortured poets department - taylor swift
3. impera - ghost
4. the unseen - quasimoto
5. prequelle - ghost
6. twin fantasy - car seat headrest
7. the college dropout - kanye west
8. the world - brent faiyaz
9. the money store - death grips
10. it is what it is - thundercat

Impressed to see ‘A Bar Song (Tipsy)’ already in the Top 10. It’s looking like this could be a real hit going into the summer and I’d be absolutely fine with that!

‘Valerie’ returns to the Top 40 for the first time since April 2008! Fantastic to see Amy back in the region with not one but two of her classics.

She was taken from us way too soon… 😔

Massive congratulations to Sabrina on her first UK #1 single. She absolutely deserves this, especially with a song as good as ‘Espresso’. So happy for her! 😊

my music takeaway for the night: 🥡

• sabrina carpenter got her number 1 at last and what a tune to do it with as well. just as well because the weather is getting warmer ☀️
• i called it with i can do it with a broken heart entering. easy. just a shame the whole “im miserable 😜 and nobody even knows!! 😍” at the end lets the song down but other than that im vibing to the song. just wish down bad got replaced with so long london ;(
• MILLION DOLLAR BABY IS OBJECTIVELY A BANGER. END OF DISCUSSION.
• a bar song (tipsy) - guys, i think shaboozey just did the rare feat of dropping a country song i actually like. yes, really. its not getting a high replay factor for me but im glad its becoming a hit. (certainly makes up for that austin trash…)
• tell ur girlfriend has been infecting my tiktok fyp as of late… and i still cant get into the song at all. the production really lets it down for me. at least whatever she wants has grown on me slightly
• there’s two sides to a coin in viral dance music for me in tonight’s takeaway. there’s these words, which has godawful vocal processing to the point poor natasha sounds like she’s glitching. on the other side of the coin, PEDRO ‼️ 🦝
• rip amy winehouse you would’ve loved vapes 😔🙏 the resurgence was belated but very welcome. such a talent. 
• i really hope feel it becomes a hit at some point, i’m absolutely loving it right now. it’s new for d4vd, but it’s still great and im manifesting an eventual top 40 placement.
• outside the charts, kendrick did critical damage to drake in that euphoria song. six minutes and twenty-four seconds of absolute heat, front to back. if you want a conversation about it in the replies i’ll happily do some infodumping. he’s won without a doubt and he just dropped ANOTHER diss on instagram as if he hadn’t won. drake is over 😭

have a nice weekend everyone! <3