Official Singles Chart Top 100 on 19/4/2024

TOP 5 THIS WEEK [all debuts because this is my first chart]

1. my boy only breaks his favourite toys [Taylor swift]

2. fortnight (feat. post Malone) [Taylor swift]

3. training season [Dua Lipa] 

4. i can do it with a broken heart [Taylor swift]

5. illusion [Dua Lipa]

i know it's a boring top 5 because it's the same two singers :(

From Music Week.

The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun.  Just outside the Top 100  [7,147 sales this week]

Total sales 2,004,382.

chart re-ranking

Great
1) H*ll N Back
2) Green & Gold
3) Prada
4) greedy
5) Espresso
6) Happier
7) Back On 74
8) TEXAS HOLD ‘EM
9) Training Season
10) we can’t be friends (wait for your love)
11) Forget About Us
12) Illusion
13) obsessed
14) Whatever

Good
15) Austin
16) Saturn
17) Good Luck, Babe!
18) Alibi
19) Unwritten
20) Tell Ur Girlfriend
21) JOLENE
22) Jump
23) What Was I Made For?
24) Lose Control
25) End Of Beginning
26) Too Sweet
27) II MOST WANTED
28) These Words
29) Scared To Start
30) Beautiful Things
31) Birds In The Sky

Decent:
32) Like That
33) Stick Season
34) i like the way you kiss me

Meh
35) Whatever She Wants
36) Belong Together
37) Slow It Down

Bad
38) Lovers In A Past Life

Awful
39) I Don’t Wanna Wait
40) Home

Now for my latest hot takes.

BETTER THAN ANYTHING TAYLOR SWIFT HAS RELEASED TIER:​

Olivia Rodrigo - obsessed [32]

Jungle - Back On 74 [20]

Beyoncé - TEXAS HOLD 'EM [5]

Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten [18]

VERY GOOD ACTUALLY TIER:

Bakar [ft. Summer Walker] - Xell N Back [21]

Chappell Roan - Good Luck, Babe [33] (I take back my comment last week saying this was mediocre.)

The Blessed Madonna/Clementine Douglas - Happier [17]

I JUST THINK IT'S A GOOD SONG Y'KNOW TIER:

Beyoncé - JOLENE [34]

Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso [6]

Noah Kahan - Stick Season [12]

SZA - Saturn [29]

Lay Bankz - Tell Ur Girlfriend [31] (Too many people have sampled Ginuwine's 1997 single Pony and it aggravates me to no end.)

Future/Metro Boomin/Kendrick Lamar - Like That [16]

Djo - End Of Beginning [23] (His 1-hit wonder watch starts now thanks to ACR.)

IT'S OK. JUST. O. K. TIER:

Artemas - i like the way you kiss me [3]

Beyoncé & Miley Cyrus - II MOST WANTED [36]

Hozier - Too Sweet [1]

Dua Lipa - Training Season [15]

Ariana Grande - we can't be friends (wait for your love) [8]

Tyla/Gunna/Skillibeng - Jump [38]

CONFUSING EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY ME TIER:

Tate McRae - greedy [40] (7 months since it first entered, and I still glaze my eyes over it.)

Dua Lipa - Illusion [9] (Not a great follow-up, but still better than nearly half of the chart. Says a lot about Dua.)

Calvin Harris & Rag'n'Bone Man - Lovers In A Past Life [28]

Dasha - Austin [7]

Rudimental/Skepsis/It's This Tired Joke Again - Green & Gold [30]

Mark Ambor - Belong Together [13]

I'M NOT A FAN TIER:

Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For? [39]

Benson Boone - Slow It Down [26]

cassö/RAYE/D-Block Europe - Prada [37]

Ella Henderson ft. Rudimental - Alibi [14]

I'M REEEEEAAAAAALLLLLY NOT A FAN TIER:

David Guetta & OneRepublic - I Don't Wanna Wait [25]

Perrie [from Little Mix] - Forget About Us [10] (Get ready for this to plummet loads next week. I will be there.)

NewEra - Birds In The Sky [19]

Michael Marcagi - Scared To Start [11]

Badger - These Words [35] (Well that's Natasha's reputation tarnished then.)

Benson Boone - Beautiful Things [2]

SO AWFUL IT'S RIDICULOUS TIER:

Bryson Tiller - Whatever She Wants [24]

Good Neighbours - Home [27] (Sorry, who likes this again?)

Kygo & Ava Max - Whatever [22] (His newly released follow-up is just as lame.)

Teddy Swims - Lose Control [4]

Chart Review 19/04/24

Sup lads, I'm 'ere again.

Anyways, you all know what time of the week this is, the bit every Friday since the beginning of time/2024 where I rubbish all the artists I can, and you express your approvals in the comments section like last week never happened. As we all know, a certain artist has made a return to the industry today, and one which will spark a massive furore amongst the masses.

Yes people, Cian Ducrot is back. Ignore him while you can guys, it's a shame I have to dedicate next week's review to chopping him down.

Speaking of which, I may have caused a slight kerfuffle and made an enemy last week when I came up with two questionable assumptions. A), a minor spelling misteak* 🤓, and B), the shock revelation that not everybody likes Benson Boone. Yeah, I know, toxic masculinity alright. It definitely got on the wrong side of a particular kind of commenter on here, but I am here to address that opinions are opinions, and you're not meant to take them seriously. Otherwise, I'd be reduced to saying stuff you'd expect from a mile off. Besides, he's not even the worst name in the Top 40, so just because I don't like it, doesn't mean I'm some sort of neo-fascist creep willing to derail every artist you care to love. Having said that, the iTunes reviews for Beautiful Things are apparently saying it's mysoginistic. To those of you who think that, erm.. GET REAL. Those rose-tinted frauds have clearly never heard David Guetta's Cexy Chick (i don't wanna get banned), or ODB and Kelis' Got Your Money. Hold on, what was I saying?

Ah yes, the charts. No shocks here you lot, as everyone's new favourite man from the Emerald Isle Hozier continues his career rehabilitation witha second week at the summit for Too Sweet. Again, I made the bold move to suggest that U2 were the last Irishmen to reach the top, meaning my so-called 'perfect analysis' is a little flawed. I tried to correct it as swift as I could by suggesting Westlife, only to realise that my memory doesn't wanna acknowledge The Script's Hall of Fame from 2012 reaching No.1. I'm not going back and correcting this rookie error, what do you think I am, a human being? Might as well plug in my in-built USB adaptor while I'm here telling you things you'd figure out elsewhere.

7 new hits today, and a gloriously retro 3 (THREE) of them in the Top 10 making sure that the charts don't choke on their 70 year-old umbilical cord. Leading the way at No.6 is everyone's favourite underachiever apart from the other ones, Sabrina Carpenter. You know her, right? Well if you're not aware of her 3 previous Top 40 experiences, then you need to fix up, look sharp my amigo. Her new one easily outshines anything else she's slapped out this decade, and is absolutely the most likely to stick around by the time summer rolls by. Espresso is cool, OK? Can we stop referring to her as 'the lady who took Olivia Rodrigo's GF in 2021' now? Because that would be so grand of you.

Continuing this succession of similar-looking female popstars, 9th place is the 3rd cut from the 3rd album by Dua Lipa the 1st. Houdini completely fudged top spot in November, Training Season is slowly limping out of the Top 20, and joining them in the underwhelming scrapheap is Illusion, which does at least end up being Dua's 16th Top 10 success. That's the thing with Dua, it's been 8 long hard years since she first came to prominence and she's had so many memorable hits, yet the average consumer will look at her albums and think, "Ew, wasn't she on that awful One Kiss?". Clearly that stereotype probably won't alter off the back of this chart entry, but, you know, every cloud and all that. Radical Optimism arrives in 2 weeks, so get yourselves prepared for that. Even though it might not get to No.1.

And at 10, sigh.... another Little Mix member makes her bow. It's common knowledge that ever since the Mixers split a few years ago, their solo members have quickly fallen down an extremely irrelevant path and watched their chart performances evaporate as quickly as my hopes and dreams. Most of them anyway, given Jade hasn't had a go yet. Jesy Nelson felt like hooking up with Nicki Minaj for Top 5 success, but then her follow-up didn't even breach the Top 100 and she was quickly forgotten about. Similarly, only a fool would admit that Leigh-Anne's solo prowess has been noteworthy, given her singles positions so far have been 11, 28, and WHY DID YOU EVEN BOTHER. Clearly, we're not in the mood anymore. Sort of.

That final sentence is thanks to Perrie Edwards, who thus can at least take heart from the fact that her debut single Forget About Us has made Top 10, even though it's really really boring. And it's co-written by Ed Sheeran. Just when you thought you'd seen the last of him, he returns and makes yet another lame pop song that no one born in the 20th century will get. It didn't work for Anne-Marie in 2018, what makes you think it'll pay off here? Anyways, Perrie's off to a good start, but looking at how far it's fallen off the Spotify ladder, it will be really fortunate to stay in the Top 20 next time out. Oh, and blame the physicals. The physical releases and iTunes droplets are pointless and worthless.

A quick detour to the albums, and this week's lucky winners on the albums are Manchester shoegaze-turned-veterans James, who haven't had a hit since 2001, but somehow still command some sort of presence amongst nostalgia merchants for making Sit Down and She's A Star and Laid and a bunch of other songs. So obviously, they seem to be unremarkable pensioners. What IS remarkable is that this is their first chart-topping album since their Greatest Hits, all the way back in the heady days of 1998. Back when I was a mere -8 years old. Given they've overcome the likes of Dire Straits frontman Mark Knopfler and Linkin Park's long overdue compilation thingy, I'm tempted to say not much has changed since then. Even though it definitely has.

As for this week's other debutants, Tyla officially kickstarts her quest to not be a 1-hit wonder, as fresh from denting the Top 20 albums, her duet with Gunna and some loser named Skillibeng, Jump, claws up to 38. Not much to add apart from keep climbing and prove people wrong I guess. Also making strides up is Lay Bankz, the 19 year-old Philadelphia resident having caught the eyes of many with Ick at the back end of '23, and now surges up to 31 with her alright-ish Tell Ur Girlfriend. Again, I have little to add on top of this information, suffice to say that she's the latest person to sample Ginuwine's Pony. Seriously give that track a rest, producers. Aren't there any other mid-90s R'n'B classics out there for you to massacre?

Rising to 32nd spot this week is a lady called Chappell Roan, a girl who's currently courting the Spotify Viral 50 with tracks like Femininomenon (try saying THAT drunk), HOT TO GO!, and Red Wine Supernova. Her breakthrough arrives with Good Luck, Babe, a song that sound like if The Last Dinner Party made a new song somepoint in 1986. Even though I'm pretty sure they DO record as if they're in a timeloop. Ah well, trying to imitate the best band out there at the moment inevitably means this song is pretty great actually, and bodes well for the future (Famous last words). That's something I can't say for underground DJ Badger, whose rise from last week's 91 is impressive to say the least. It's just a shame that he's achieved this by reworking Natasha Bedingfield's These Words. And if you saw me try to talk about it last week, I can assure you that it is D R E A D F U L. Nuff said.

Outside the 40, and Shaboozey does well to enter at 41 first time out, even though he's virtually Lil Nas X Mark 2. Less happy scenes for the Oasis campus, as it's been 30 years since Supersonic charted and changed British rock forever yadda yadda yadda, and so it's been brought out again for the fanatics. Sales were promising, midweek showings were impressive, but now it's stiffed at 42, eleven places worse off than last time. Not the first time that Liam Gallagher's f****d it in the midweeks, let me tell you that. More promising scenes for the song at 44, given it's ACR-reset after that Amy Winehouse biopic. Good for Mark Ronson et. all, but I never liked Valerie in the first place, so..... Bring on the hate-mail. Also Back To Black is back at 51 if you like smooth mid-00s jazz or whatever. I just think it's overplayed to death, to be honest.

D-Block Europe continue to distress everyone with any resemblance of musical knowledge, an AWFUL iTunes-powered dance remake of Disturbed's The Sound of Silence sees that re-enter at 47 (seriously, there was no point.) Future and Metro Boomin releasing a follow-up to WE DON'T TRUST YOU just hasn't worked at all, Latin megahit Gata Only by FloyyMenor & Cris Mj starts it's journey at 76, and Meekz is back again at 94. That's the best way I can conclude the Top 100, due to the fact that Meekz is incredibly forgettable. Don't complain, it's true y'know.

Next week sees Headie One grab Stormzy back from whatever semi-retirement he's been doing recently for his comeback single, meanwhile AJ Tracey returns by taking an old picture from GTA and saying "Top job, that'll do for me". Kygo, Clavish, Jamie , Nina Nesbitt and Fontaines D.C. all have new songs out as well, with next week's album chart seeing the likes of Pearl Jam and UB40 go out there and hope for the best. Hopefully one of them can get that coveted No.2 spot. I'm counting on you guys.

I'm off. See you next time.

(P.S. And you thought I would make an obvious relating to another album that' the shops today, hmm? Let's just say that Post Malone and Florence + the Machine can look forward to whatever awaits them next week and leave it at that, shall we?)

no Taylor Swift in the top 40 this week (someone do the number crunching.please). Of course,that will all change next week : ) 

My Top 10 Songs Of The Week:

#1: Perrie – Forget About Us (debut)   [New No.1!] 🇬🇧 (🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿)

#2: Tyla – Priorities (+1) 🇿🇦

#3: Sabrina Carpenter – Espresso (debut) 🇺🇸

#4: Dylan Conrique – Last One To Love Me (-2) 🇺🇸

#5: Olivia Rodrigo – Scared Of My Guitar (-4) 🇺🇸

#6: Silia Kapsis – Liar (debut) 🇦🇺

#7: ILLIT - Magnetic (debut) 🇰🇷

#8: Dasha – Austin (+9) 🇺🇸

#9: Tate McRae – Guilty Conscience (-3) 🇨🇦

#10: Olivia Rodrigo – Scared Of My Guitar (-6) 🇺🇸

Full chart on Crown Note: https://www.crownnote.com/charts/piran/pirans-top-50-218

Full chart on BuzzJack: www.buzzjack.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=270749

My Top 10

My top 20 on crownnote :

https://www.crownnote.com/charts/yocheese/19042024

‘Carnival’ on ACR and ‘If U Think I’m Pretty’ backtracking… good riddance to both of them! Hopefully ‘Home’ can do either one of these things and leave the Top 40 before long.

Great to see happier at 17

This was certainly a polarising mix of new arrivals, with the highest being 2nd and the lowest being 37th! 😳

Very pleased that ‘Jump’ entered the region! There are definitely better tracks on that Tyla album like ‘Priorities’ or ‘Truth Or Dare’, but anything from it going Top 40 is a massive win.

Didn’t expect to see Chappell Roan here. That’s amazing for her though and she absolutely deserves this!

Top 40 Rankings: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/285bb9cb09ed55b246017dccd226f7ae2046bd23259abd14bb6d90df1758ac80.png

Absolutely delighted to see the ‘Valerie’, 'Supersonic' and 'The Sound Of Silence' all in the upper half of the chart following the Amy Winehouse biopic. Three fantastic throwbacks! ❤️

Well done to Sabrina Carpenter on her first Top 10 hit. ‘Espresso’ is easily one of her best songs to date! 😊

I like Dua’s new single a lot more than ‘Training Season’, but it’s not up there with ‘Houdini’ for me personally. It’s still good though and I really hope it can stick around!